Hi, I’m Cami Boudreaux.

I struggled through much of my twenties to find an equal, secure, solid partner. I oscillated between men who didn’t have marriage in their vocabulary and men who came on too hard, too soon.

They were picking me strongly. I wasn’t evaluating them strongly.

The turning point was two relationships back to back. The first was distant and going nowhere. He kept pulling away, and I kept waiting for my needs to be met. A couple of months later, I met someone who was the opposite: too much, too soon. Once it got serious, he became clingy and controlling, and I felt taken advantage of. I had never been good at breaking up with anyone, but this time I did it. Then I asked myself: why in the world did I choose this?

The honest answer was loneliness, low confidence and familiarity. I attached too soon and too anxiously. As a people pleaser and an empath, I over-gave. I cared more about his health than he did, and I dropped my own life to always be available. If he wasn’t okay, I wasn’t okay. I’m the oldest daughter, and I grew up holding my feelings in so I wouldn’t upset anyone. I carried that straight into love.

So I started pouring into myself instead. I invested in my style, hired a personal trainer and a nutritionist, and gained curves I love. I found community in yoga, meditation and breathwork. I read everything I could about empaths and women who give too much. I learned to back myself, even when people underestimated me. Now I date with my options open, I look for consistency, ambition and good habits, and I have compassion for myself and for the men I chose.

When I started coaching, I knew exactly what I was here to teach. Through stillness, meditation and thinking hard about the problem, the Picker, Shield + Sword method came to me. Love can feel like a battlefield. The Picker is why we choose who we choose. The Shield is our protection, built from five domains that strengthen each other: Heart, Environment, Mind, Body and Beauty. The stronger your Shield, the more likely you are to find a secure, healthy partner instead of just getting chosen. The Sword is authenticity in action: saying yes when you mean yes, saying no when you mean no, and being unapologetically yourself. That’s the heart of Fix Your Picker.

Today I’m Cami Boudreaux, a relationship coach for women, based in Sacramento and coaching online. Before this, I taught English to adults from around the world and advocated for people in my community. I’m dating intentionally, not forcing anything, and still a work in progress. I want every woman I work with to feel understood, supported and hopeful that there’s another way. Off the clock, you’ll find me painting, lifting at the gym, walking along the American River or building my fall pumpkin display out front.